The Furby Conspiracy
by ScribeAnimal
Summary: Harm/Mac, Animal/Meg AU: Harm with the help of Mac, Animal and Meg buys Jordan a Christmas present. Author's Note: During Christmas my mother wanted so much to get a Furby just for the heck of it. Me, personally, I hate the little sucker. If I wanted little furry talking aliens, I'd look at adopting a sister. (just kidding). Written in 1999


"The Furby Conspiracy"

Author: Hugo Chikamori

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Harm/Mac R; Animal/Meg R

Spoilers: None, except whatever comes out of Animal's demented mind...

Summary: Jordan Parker gets a present...(need I say more?)

Disclaimers: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., AJ Chegwidden, et al.

belong in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. No profit is being

made from this story, nor is any infringement intended.

Author's Note: During Christmas my mother wanted so much to get a Furby just for the heck of it. Me, personally, I hate the little sucker. If I wanted little furry talking aliens, I'd look at adopting a sister. (just kidding). Also noted, that Jordan is a psychiatrist not a medical doctor, however psychiatrists are licensed medical practitioners and would have done a medical rotation during their schooling so in this fic, Jordan is perfectly capable of conducting a medical examination to see if Animal is fit to fly.

NAVAL MEDICAL FACILITY

BETHESDA, MD

1430 ZULU

"That's great, Commander Nakamura, your medical report says that you are fit to fly." Lieutenant Commander Jordan Parker said as she jotted down her medical analysis on a clip-board.

"Thank you, Lieutenant Commander." the young asian squadron commander said as he put back on his khaki shirt, adorned on the collar points with his accroutements of rank. Half of his wings were obscured by the collar point of his left collar, due to the amassed number of ribbons on his fruit-salad (ribbon-deck). Jordan, lifer though she wasn't, knew that she was looking at a highly decorated United States Navy aviator. She also knew that she was looking at the nation's highest medal for valor on the uppermost ribbon, partially obscured as the wings were, by his collar, the powder blue, of the ribbon and only three white stars out of five on the ribbon were visible just under the collar.

Animal hated these annual physicals. He hated medical personnel altogether. Out of all the people in the Navy, these people governed whether or not you flew. One diagnosis going the other way and your flying career was over, simple as that. It didn't matter that you were the top ace in the fleet, or a Medal of Honor recipient. One bad health report and your flying career was finished, albeit with honors. But Animal didn't give a flipping goddamn about whether or not it would be terminated with honors. He longed for the feel of the stick and throttle in his hands, and the obligatory one week downchit in order to take the annual medical physical had him irritable and pining for the cockpit. It was all that Lieutenant Meg Austin-Nakamura could do just to put up with Animal's griping. And to top it all off, he ended up with Harm's girlfriend giving him the physical. Oh, the embarrassment.

Meg had become Mac's close friend and Meg had known all along that the Marine Major was Harm's closest friend. Meg figured that Harm and Mac should be together and if Animal knew his wife correctly, she was plotting ways of getting Harm and Mac together.

"So, will you be telling your wife the good news..." The bubbly perky Lieutenant Commander said, her voice grating on Animal's ears.

"Yes, she's waiting for me just outside in the waiting room." Animal replied, as he picked up his CNT cover from the examining table (bed) and nodded in acquiescence.

"Hey, sir?" Meg grinned, using the respective term used to defer to a superior officer and not the usual, "Hey, dear..." familiar due to the fact that they were on a military installation,"So how did the physical go?"

"Great, Lieutenant..." Animal grinned at his wife. Trying to resist the impulse to hug the living daylights out of his taller wife, he grinned widely instead..."I'm back to flying...god I hate those one week downs."

"So did Harm's girlfriend give you a rough time?" She said raising an eyebrow at the departing back of the Lieutenant Commander. Meg was a lifer as was Animal and despised those who used the military like a boarding school (stay in for a few years and then jump at the first chance to become a civilian again). Meg always said that she would stay in as long as the Navy wanted her to. Animal was the same way and that was probably why the love they had for each other was so strong. They were both committed in their own way.

JAG HEADQUARTERS

FALLS CHURCH, VA

1455 ZULU

Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. looked over at his watch."Gee...I think Animal should be getting out of his physical by now."

Major Sarah Mackenzie, USMC, replied,"Well, why not give him a call?" she grinned widely at Harm.

"I don't know if he's back at his office, Mac..." Harm replied, as he pursed his eyebrows in thought...his expression brightened,"Hey, I've got an idea..."

"What?" Mac asked, not sure if she wanted to hear the idea.

Harm gave her one of those All-American cheerful-burger grins of his and said,"It's a good excuse to go see NAS Oceana..."

"And maybe you can finagle a ride on one of those F-14s, right?"

"Well, my eyesight is back to normal..." Harm replied indicating his recent surgery."I just might think about changing my designator."

Mac said,"You know...I really hate having to break in a new partner." she said glaring at him reversing the line he said to her a long time ago.

"Ouch...touche." Harm said, pretending he was shot in the heart.

WAL-MART

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA

1535 ZULU

Animal and Meg were wandering down the aisles of the store trying to think of something for Jordan Parker to thank her for the positive results of the physical.

Unfortunately they couldn't think of a single thing.

"Perfume?" too expensive.

"Thank you card?" too cheap.

"Book" too...well possibly too hard for Jordan to read.

"Jewelry" pointed look from Meg,"But I did get you a diamond necklace last month..." DEFINITELY TOO EXPENSIVE. (D-I-V-O-R-C-E)

"Shoes..." too stupid...

Animal sighed frustrated as Meg emitted an equally frustrated sigh. Animal looked over at his wife and they figured that it would probably be a better bet to ask Harm and Mac their advice on what sort of a thank-you gift to get for Jordan.

WAL-MART

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA

2235 ZULU

Animal, Harm, Meg and Mac wandered into the Wal-Mart for the second time that day. Harm mentioned,"You know, Animal, back during November, she was looking at a Furby and saying 'Oh how cute...'"

"Oh, how disgusting..." Mac groaned. She hated that creature. It was an animated toy that would infuriate anyone with any sense of intelligence...and it was the PERFECT gift for Jordan.

They headed for the toy section of the Wal-Mart. Thank goodness for the Furby craze being over. It was simple to obtain one now. They picked out a cute looking little Furby, with brown and white tufted fur, looking surprisingly like a little Gremlin. Meg had an evil idea and nudged Mac who grinned at her. "Harm, we'd like to teach it to say...Hi...Jordan..." Meg had to restrain herself from giggling. Harm looked at Mac who smiled innocently back at Harm.

"Are you sure..."

"Of course...Harm..." Meg smiled...equally innocently.

Animal wasn't too sure of what they had planned, but he kept his

silence.

"Harm, it's only going to be one night...We can train it in one

night." Meg said.

Harm said reluctantly,"Oh all right..." After they paid for the little toy, hee handed it to Mac and Meg."Be careful with it...it's a present..."

"Of course..." Mac said. "We'll be careful with it."

"Honey, you're making your own dinner tonight." Meg grinned as she gave Animal a tender kiss,"Mac and I have some work to do tonight."

"Hey, Harm, you up for a movie?" Animal asked.

"Yeah...I hear the Phantom Menace is still running." Harm replied. He wasn't too sure he liked the evil grins that both Meg and Mac exchanged as they departed in Mac's vehicle.

BETHESDA MEDICAL FACILITY

BETHESDA, MD

1430 ZULU (the next day)

"Ma'am..." the yeoman said as he brought in a small box. "The courier dropped this off for you."

"Thank you..." Lieutenant Commander Jordan Parker replied as she

looked curiously at the box. "You can place it over there..." She said as she continued looking at the files on her desk. "Dismissed." She said to the yeoman.

"Aye-aye, ma'am." The yeoman exited her office. She tried to concentrate on her work.

Finally, she couldn't resist any longer. She picked up the box, and brought it over to her desk. Opening it she saw a little box inside it.

When that box was opened, she looked into the cheerful grinning face of a little brown and white tufted Furby.

"Oooh...how cute..." She murmurred to the little toy.

"We-me..." the little toy burbled.

"Oh...it said something..." Jordan bubbled. This toy was so cute. "Can you say something else...little one?" she asked it.

"We-bleet-la-leee-weeee-" it bubbled little bits of nonsensical sounds.

"I guess it hasn't been trained yet." Jordan thought as she placed it on her desk and went to get herself a coffee.

"Well, little guy..." she murmurred to the Furby on her desk."I really have to thank those guys for sending it over. Harm and Animal are such sweet guys..." she said.

"We-blee..." the Furby agreed.

"So what do you think about Harm...I think he's such a tall, handsome guy...and he's got such wonderful eyes..." Jordan sighed,"I really love him. I'm so glad that he's my boyfriend."

"Blee-boyfriend..." the toy copied.

"Mac doesn't have a chance..."

"Mee-Mac..."

"Harm is such a sweet guy for sending me this toy..." she said as she got up to go and get herself a doughnut.

"Weblee-Harm..." the toy bubbled.

When she came back...she grinned at the toy..."So what do you think of Harm and me? Hmmm?" It was strange to be talking to a toy. But there were stranger things.

The Furby's training from last night kicked in. With an innocent little smile, the toy said. "Harm loves Mac..."

********THE END*******

Author's further note: "Sorry, just my evil streak kicking in..."


End file.
